TheReelTodd.com

Yars' Revenge on a Real Atari 2600

2008-10-11T23:07:38Z

PLEASE DO NOT HOTLINK DIRECTLY TO MEDIA FILES ON THIS WEBSITE.

One of the coolest original games (if not the coolest) to come out for the Atari 2600 (aka Atari VCS) was Yars' Revenge. Programmed by Howard Scott Warshaw, it started out as a port of the arcade game Star Castle and evolved in to the greatness that we remember as Yars' Revenge. ]]> The game play is pretty simple: Control the flying insect-shaped Yar and shoot or nibble your way through the shield that protects the evil Qotile. I prefer to nibble rather than shoot because the point value is higher and it's more fun. Avoid contact with the enemy Destroyer Missile that tracks and follows the Yar (or as I like to call it: the dreaded "Dash of Doom"). The Dash of Doom can't harm the Yar while inside the awesomely cool looking Neutral Zone that resembles a field of colorful static energy positioned slightly off center to the left. At random intervals, the Qotile turns in to a swirling Saw Blade of Death (or officially, just a Swirl) and shoots out toward the Yar's position. The Neutral Zone offers no protection from this deadly object, so it must be avoided. After clearing a path in the shield, use the Zorlon Cannon to destroy the Qotile and enjoy the spectacular giant megga-explosion animation that follows. The visuals in the game aren't so awe-inspiring by today's standards, but back in 1981 that was some seriously cool home-gaming graphic awesomeness.

There are two alternating play-screens that become increasingly difficult as the game progresses. In the first screen, the Qotile shield is more angular shaped and behaves much like a barrier of bricks - officially called "cells". The second screen features a rectangular shaped shield. When cells are shot-out or nibbled away, the fluidic properties of it become visible. Players are presented with different challenge as the cells move back and forth, and top to bottom.

The Atari 2600 was never known for stellar sound capabilities. Even so, the sounds in Yars' Revenge are moody and cool. The game is filled with background noise that resembles the sound of an electrical arc crawling up an enormous Jacob's Ladder. Yar's shooting and nibbling sounds are simple, but fitting. Entering the Neutral Zone results in a subtle electronic hum. When the Qotile Saw Blade of Death is about to shoot out, a warning noise sounds momentarily, followed by a blast as it quickly rips through space, hurdling toward the Yar.

Google shows over 80,000 results for Yars' Revenge (at the time this was published). I'm sure most of those sites have have imagery and/or video of the game being played. The imagery most likely consists of emulated screen caps or video. Here you're looking at Yars' Revenge imagery in all its digital and analog glory, generated on real Atari hardware. I love those little red, green, and blue glowing phosphor elements and the look of scan lines that draw the picture on the screen. Atari 2600 emulation is convenient and sometimes I play games via an emulator, but there's nothing like enjoying them in their true form. Playing the game on the original hardware hooked up to a tube-TV offers a richer and more authentic and experience. It comes to life with an energy, look, and feel that is not present in an Atari 2600 emulator.

To the right, you see an emulated Yar. It's got the same pixel configuration and 2-frame animation, but it's just a facsimile and lacks the properties of a real Yar. "Real Yar" meaning the Yar brought to life via a real Atari 2600 hooked up to a real tube-TV and rendered in scan lines against the RGB phosphor screen analog technology of yester-year. If you've only every played this game in emulation, you're really missing out on the true experience.

Below is an up close and personal look at the amazing, colossal Yar. Sixteen giant scan lines tall - its synthetic veins glowing care of a magnetically controlled electron gun's powerful light beam. Isn't it beautiful?

PLEASE DO NOT HOTLINK DIRECTLY TO MEDIA FILES ON THIS WEBSITE.

This simple, yet addicting game, had most of us (the original generation of gamers) glued for long periods of time. With each cleared wave, the game becomes more difficult with an increasingly faster-moving Dash of Doom and a smarter, faster, deadlier Saw Blade Swirl of Death. And with each cleared wave, the desire to clear another one, and then another after that slowly grows in to an old-school, classic gaming obsession.

Long before home gaming systems were powerful enough to offer in-game cut-scenes with an elaborate storyline, we enjoyed the art of the video game comic. Yars' Revenge had a pretty cool comic and back-story. Ever wonder why it was called Yars' Revenge? You can check out the comic and discover why at AtariAge.com. They also have scans of the game program instruction as well. I kind of miss the days of when everything that was cool and geeky had the word "program" or "electronic" or "computerized" attached to it.

I couldn't help but play a few quick games while capturing imagery for this article. If you've got an Atari 2600 and Yars' Revenge cart CX2655, why not fire that baby up and enjoy some quality time with an awesome game on the original hardware. A joystick, one fire button, one Yar, one Qotile, one homing missile, one Zorlon Canon... and after a while - one bad case of Atari-thumb. The soreness is worth fun though. Just keep telling yourself that on the way to your next session of physical therapy at the hand-doctor. :-)

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Sominex Sleeping Pills Review

2008-10-05T22:08:29Z

Most people have experienced trouble falling asleep at some point in their life. Many have considered using a sleeping agent like Sominex Sleeping Pills to help fall asleep. Do they work? How effective are they? Are they dangerous? Here are some of my personal findings:

Pros: Original Formula Sominex Sleeping Pills do assist falling asleep by causing a feeling of drowsiness.

Cons: The drowsiness caused by the pills is kind of a drugged feeling. Even though they assist in physically feeling sleepy, they don't put to rest a stressed or active mind. Taking them regularly may result in some dependency on the product (to feel sleepy).]]> Effectiveness: The sleeping pills are fairly effective for me. About an hour or so after taking them, I usually start to feel drowsy. Although they generally work in helping me fall asleep, I've have spoken with people for whom the pills did not offer any benefit.

Side Effects: As I mentioned, it is kind of a drugged-feeling sleepiness I experience, though it is not bothersome or worrying. If you're new to taking these pills, you may still feel drowsy or drugged in the morning when it's time to get up.

Use again: Yes. I use them regularly.

Recommend: Yes.

General thoughts:

I've been taking Original Formula Sominex Sleeping Pills regularly for almost 20 years. I don't need them to fall asleep, but I do need help falling asleep at the desired hour on work nights. Without some kind of assistance, I tend to stay wide awake until pretty late because I'm a night-owl by nature.

If you're new to taking Sominex, be aware that the feeling of drowsiness may still be with you in the morning. The pills effect lasts about 7 to 8 hours, give or take, depending on your physiology. I still felt drowsy in the morning when I first started taking them, but not so much now. My body is pretty used to the effects of the drug and I worked out an optimal time in the evening to take them.

Though I sometimes need to take two at a time, I generally only take one pill at in the evening, about an hour and a half before going to bed on work nights. I follow up my Sominex with a 5mg pill of Melatonin (a natural sleeping agent) about 20 minutes prior to bed time. The combination of both seem to work pretty well for me.

There are times when taking sleeping pills do not help me fall asleep. If I've got too many things on my mind or feeling stressed, I tend to suffer a sleepless night regardless.

For people who have difficulty sleeping because of an active mind (or over-active mind) and stress, Sominex Sleeping Pills may not offer much help in obtaining a good night's sleep. People suffering from chronic insomnia should seek medical treatment from a doctor rather than experimenting with off the shelf sleeping agents.

One should observe caution when taking any drugs to assist in sleep. Taking too many pills can result in serious (permanent) damage and possibly death. Do not take more than 2 Sominex pills per night to fall asleep. It's always best to consult your doctor before taking over the counter drugs - especially if you're taking prescription medications.

What's the Deal With all the Fat-Guy Shirts?

2008-10-03T01:51:23Z

Why is it that I can't seem to find a shirt that actually fits me properly? Is it because perhaps... I'M NOT A FAT GUY? Every shirt I own and every shirt I try on in the store seems to have a LOT of extra room in the mid-section. WTF? ]]> This is seriously annoying me. I exercise daily and have a pretty damn good body for a guy my age. I'm not Mr. Muscles or anything, although that would be nice. I'm toned, have a flat stomach, defined pecks, and minimal fat around my waist.

You can't tell to look at me though - not with a shirt on, anyway. Every long-sleeve, button down shirt I own is big on me. My fat-guy shirts fit my neck size and arm length just fine. They also have enough room in the belly for an inflated beach ball, should I chose to stuff one in there as well. What's up with that? I'm not shopping in the fat-guy department or the big-and-tall store.

Is it a regional thing? I live in the Rochester, New York area and the majority of people in this town (over 25) are overweight. Nothing against heavier people, I'm just not one, and I'd like some shirts that fit me properly. Could it be that stores in this area generally cater to the regional standard of a predominately overweight population? I know clothing stores in different areas of the country (and world for that matter) carry different selections of clothes at the same time of year. Different catalogs, different clothes, different styles... for different weight classes?

So what's the frickin' deal? Why is it that I practically need to have a shirt custom tailored if I want to wear something that isn't all bunchy around the waist when I tuck it in?

I don't think it's because I suck at picking out clothes or anything (although I kind of do). I have my wife accompany me and often, just go shop for me. She's awesome and actually has some fashion sense, which I am unfortunately lacking. Most women tend to know how to shop and what their man will look good in. Even so, she has a hard time finding me shirts that fit properly. If they fit good around the waist, the sleeves are too short. If the sleeves are long enough, they're also too roomy for my arms and the waist is big enough to fit a pillow in there too.

Whatever. I just don't get it. So I live in an area where most of the people have a bulging gut, but I don't. Not even close. There are others too. Believe it or not, I'm not the only one who exercises regularly and doesn't eat more than my body needs. We're few and far between 'round these parts, but we do exist. So where can we buy shirts that will fit us but not also a fat guy as well?

Again, nothing against overweight people. I'm not picking on heavy people and if that's what you got out of this, you really missed my intent. What if clothing stores only sold skinny-guy shirts? See my point?

Monday Morning and the Blue Screen of Death

2008-09-29T21:14:27Z

The weekend has ended and it's back to work. My office computer decided to greet me this morning with the dreaded Blue Screen of Death.]]> I use three computers in my work area at the office. Unfortunately, my primary computer is the one that likes to reboot on me out of the blue (pun intended), without any warning whatsoever.

This morning, it did not reboot on me. Instead, it offered the more scenic blue screen of death, or as I like to call it: The Blue Screen of Doom-oom-oom-oom-oom. I like to add the word "doom" to things because it sounds more dangerous that way; more likely to evoke emotion when telling a story about it; more ME! I picked up that trait back in 1984 when Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom came out. Always loved that title. It sounded so epic. Exactly the kind of movie in which one might see a man have his heart ripped right out of his chest by an evil priest, while its still beating, and then lowered in to a swirling lava pit of doom!

So... yeah. Blue screen of death killed my project this morning. It wasn't saved. You know the deal. It happens to us all... or at least us PC users. You Mac and Linux users feel free to laugh. I don't mind. Damn blue screen of doom!

Flynn Meets BIT Speed Drawing in Paint

2008-09-28T19:06:08Z

PLEASE DO NOT HOTLINK DIRECTLY TO MEDIA FILES ON THIS WEBSITE.

My second speed drawing created in MS Paint: Flynn Meets BIT. If you enjoyed the previous installment of a light cycle speed drawing, then this one should light your face up with a smile just a bit more. I chose the scene in TRON where Flynn meets BIT while while cruising around in his broken recognizer. ]]> Finer detail was put into this image than in the last. Rather than just using big, sloppy paint strokes, I also employed line tool and smaller brush sizes. There is still plenty of sloppy in there as well. You can see several touch-ups and re-touch-ups taking place during the process if you watch carefully. The end result is a pretty sweet looking image created in Paint. It's not perfect or entirely accurate, but that wasn't the point of this exercise.

My free-hand drawing talent isn't as impressive as it might first appear. While drawing in Paint, I was looking at a still of this scene from the film. I'm not even close to being able to do this level or work from my own mental image or by memory. The art in this isn't about my raw ability to draw (or lack there of), it's about seeing the scene slowly being created with such a limited and yet still quite useful image creation application such as Paint.

Although this is a speed drawing, I actually spent several hours working on it spread out over few days. It was made in stages. Many mistakes (re-drawn things) were edited out of the final GIF animation. Even greatly sped up, showing the entire process with all it's re-draws would have lengthened the animation by several minutes.

I was tempted to publish this with the MS Paint application window itself visible during the process, but I settled on just the image portion (which was drawn at the resolution you see it at here). The Paint-window-showing version is physically larger (more pixels) but I might reduce the size a bit and publish it at a later time. One of the things I really like about that particular version is the ability to see me switching between tools at warp-speed.

Here's a link to the completed image (a non-animated GIF) should you want to simply enjoy the end result of TRON coolness made in Paint - completely generated without using feature-packed, professional-grade image editing applications. My website URL at the bottom was added post-Paint in another photo editing app., but the rest is ALL Paint-made pixel goodness.

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Office Coffee Slurpers

2008-09-21T20:11:30Z

Ahh the time honored tradition of sucking down hot coffee every morning to start out the work day. It's a necessity for many workers who are practically still half asleep when they first arrive at the office.

The office I work in is fairly quiet much of the time. The lack of noise, causes a bit of a privacy deficit in the main cubicle area. One can hear every paper shuffle, repositioning in chairs, every conversation, every keystroke and mouse-click, every potato chip crunch, and to some extent: every coffee sip. Our office has what I call a loud-sipper. ]]> What exactly is a loud-sipper? If you work in an office, especially a cubicle farm, you've probably heard loud-sippers before. They're not uncommon. I think it's safe to say that we've all unintentionally sipped our coffee loud some point. Some people do it more frequently, hence the term "loud-sipper".

Loud-sipping is different than sluping, although the latter is illustrated above. It occurs when one inhales far more air than liquid while ingesting hot coffee from the coffee mug. It's not really necessary to inhale so much air just to coax a little coffee out of the mug, but the loud-sipper is generally unaware of the noise created in the process. The seemingly excessive inhalation of air does serve a purpose however. It helps to cool the steaming hot black liquid as it enters the mouth, thus minimizing the chance of tongue-scald. The loud-sipping sound is usually only present during the first several sips. After the coffee has cooled a bit, the loud-sipper no longer finds it necessary to inhale more air than coffee and returns to a less audible method of sipation. New word, folks: "sipation" - the act of sipping without the word "sipping". Write that one down and impress your friends by using it in conversation the next time you're socializing with your fellow coffee enthusiasts.

Although not everyone in my office is a loud-sipper, I got the mental imagery of a cubicle farm full of loud-sippers. The sound of a loud sip being heard repeatedly from cubicle to cubicle cracked me up for some reason. Because I went with a simple animated GIF rather than a video file format (in which audio can be utilized), cartoon speech bubbles (or in this case, noise bubbles) were employed to illustrate the concept. "Loud sip" looked awkward in the speech bubbles, so it was changed it to "slurp". After all, there are plenty of coffee slurpers out there too. Luckily we don't currently have any in the main part of our office. I can deal with loud coffee sipping. Continuous coffee slurping might be a problem. Nothing a good sippy-cup couldn't remedy though.

That's not a recreation of the office I work in, by the way. Our cubicle farm is kind of an odd configuration. I went with the standard rows and rows of symmetrically positioned cubicles approach.

TRON Light Cycle Speed Drawing in Paint

2008-09-13T02:33:14Z

In 1982, the film TRON utilized never before seen, state-of-the-art 3D computer animation to create sensational sequences such as the memorable light cycle duel scene. In 2008, I utilized the no-so-state-of-the-art MS Paint to draw a yellow light cycle image. ]]> I dig the whole idea of creating a cool 3D rendered object like a light cycle in the limited Paint application because it's an example of high tech, futuristic (or once futuristic) imagery presented in a very low tech, old school way. Instead of a pixel perfect rendering of 3D primitives creatively assembled as a light cycle, you see big, sloppy, digital paint strokes quickly slapped together to form the image.

Rather than just display the final Paint image, I chose to show present the animated creation of it - paint stroke by paint stoke. Speed drawing is nothing new, but high speed drawings of TRON light cycles... being drawn in Paint... by me... presented in animated GIF form... on a Friday evening... while I'm wearing my brown and blue plaid pajama pants IS an absolutely new concept invented by yours truly just now. I'm sure everyone is going to rush out and buy some brown and blue plaid pajama pants to make their own high-speed animated drawings of TRON light cycles in Paint now. I'm such a trend setter, as you know.

TRON is my favorite film of all time. It completely blew me away when I saw it in the theater in 1982 when I was a kid. It may not look like much to today's younger audiences, but its presentation was mind-blowing to many of us back then. The whole 3D computer animation thing was very new. More accurately put, it had never been seen by most people - especially on the grand scale it was used in the film TRON. It was also the first film that really appealed to the gamer generation... the first and original gamer generation that I'm a proud member of.

I wonder if they'll be using PC Paint during the production of the much anticipated upcoming sequel "TR2N"? Hmmmm.

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The Super Mario Brothers Question Block

2008-09-09T20:07:52Z

The mysterious Super Mario Brothers Question Block is entry number 3 in the "Super Mario Brothers On a Real NES" series. ]]> Unlike the previous TV screen images, I had to de-interlace this animation (blend the fields) to make the file size more reasonable. That is why it's not jiggling as it flashes against those cool looking red, green, and blue tube-TV display elements. It's also less likely to cause anyone to puke if they stare at it too long after binge drinking.

Click on this link if you'd like to see how this beautiful question block looks in all its flickering, interlacing, glory (file size 1.65MB). It's a thing of beauty and more true to the original NES imagery (give or take a few milliseconds on the GIF animation timing).

To learn more about why the interlaced question block appears to shake and wobble, click the following link to read more about real NES Graphics Processing displayed a tube-TV.

The question block turned out a lot better than the Mario image because I was able to display it larger (scanline for scanline) and I'm utilizing more advanced techniques to process this kind of imagery.

The image to the right is how most people see the Super Mario Brothers Question Block in their NES emulator of choice these days. It's pixel perfect, doesn't flicker (shake/wobble) at all, and is a decent graphic representation. But that's all it is - just a representation, not the real thing. To get the real deal, you have to capture how it is presented in its natural, intended form. That is the image you see up top (or more accurately, the interlaced version).

There are a zillion question block images of the all over the internet, but I have to say this is one of the coolest looking Super Mario Brothers Question Blocks I've seen yet. I don't say that because I captured and processed the image personally. It wasn't until completion that I realized how beautiful it turned out. I love the way old school tube-TV images look close up, so maybe that has a lot to do with it.

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Super Mario on a Real NES

2008-09-02T00:01:19Z

WARNING: Don't stare at this image if you have epilepsy or get headaches easily.

Entry number 2 in the "Super Mario Brothers On a Real NES" series. This time, we take a look at Super Mario himself. ]]> Super Mario Brothers hit the home gaming scene in 1985 with the release of the Nintendo Entertainment System (or NES). More than two decades after its original release, the game is still enjoyed by millions of gamers regularly. Mario himself has become one of the most recognizable gaming icons ever.

Why is Mario shaking like that? He's not shivering because it's cold in Mario Land or anything, that's just how he looked on a real NES hooked up to a tube-TV. For anyone who's ever taken a close look at the character on a TV screen, the image above should bring back memories. If you'd like to know more about why Mario appears this way on an NES console, click the following link to read more about real NES Graphics Processing displayed a tube-TV.

Although many people still enjoy playing Super Mario Brothers on a real NES console, a growing number of people only play the game on an emulator. Some younger gamers have only ever experienced it that way. The image to the right shows how our heroic plumber Mario appears in an emulator. Pixel for pixel, that is exactly how he was designed for the original NES game, however that is not how he actually appeared on the TV screen (see image at top).

Emulators are great and I play many of my old favorites that way today, but there's really nothing like playing the game on the original hardware. The graphics aren't pixel-perfect and there's no convenient save state to help out along the way, but I still enjoy playing Super Mario Brothers on a real NES far more than on an emulator. It's a whole different experience and far more rich in my opinion.

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A Little Goomba As Seen On A Real NES

2008-08-30T00:23:53Z

WARNING: Don't stare at this image if you have epilepsy or get headaches easily.

In 1985, a new gaming console: the Nintendo Entertainment System (or NES) hit the market. Bundled with the game Super Mario Brothers, it quickly became a big success and almost single-handedly renergized the home console gaming industry after the great video game crash of 1983.

Many of today's gamers have had the opportunity to play Super Mario Brothers on an NES console hooked up to an old school, non-HD, tube-TV set. That is how I enjoyed the game back when I was in high school in the late 80's. A growing number of gamers have only ever experienced this game in an emulator on their computer or tech-device of choice. It may play the same and sound the same (for the most part) but it's not the same experience.]]> For those who have forgotten, or perhaps never had the opportunity to see what this game looks like on the original hardware when hooked up to a tube-TV set, I present an up close and personal look at a Little Goomba. I'll explain why it appears to be shaking later in this article. This is kind of an experimental image - displaying the character in true NES form this way. Depending on possible complaints, I may replace it with a non-wobbly version.

Why display not Mario himself? That was my original plan, but after reviewing several photos I took, this little guy really captured my focus. I'll add photos of Mario and other items from the game later on.

Here's how many people see a Little Goomba these days. It's not a real Little Goomba, it's just an emulated version of one. Instead of a series of electrical impulses sent to a TV screen by the original NES console hardware, it's just colored pixels that represent an emulator's rendering of the graphic object in the game ROM. What's the difference? If the photos don't spell it out for you well enough, then I'll go in to it a little deeper.

About NES Graphics Processing:

The NES PPU (picture processing unit) offers a graphics layout of 256 x 240 pixels. Although capable of slightly more, a only about 16 colors (maximum) were typically displayed on a game screen at once. In an emulated NES image, each screen pixel displays a color value precisely and consistently during screen updates/redraws/refreshes. The PPU alternates between two slightly varying images (drawing one each 60th of a second) to create each pixel. The process is similar to standard tube-TV interlacing, however each slightly different image takes place on the same scanline (row for row) every time the screen refreshes. In addition, there is kind of an underlying color pattern that the NES produces. Unlike emulators, the NES does not display pixels as a constant colors. Each pixel is location dependent. For instance, when playing an NES game that scrolls horizontally, like Super Mario Brothers, one may observe some flickering as the screen moves. Pixels of different colors appear to flicker (brighter/darker) as they move across the screen horizontally. What appears as a perfect vertical line in an emulated NES image, will often show up as a slightly jagged vertical line when generated by a real NES on a TV, and will appear to flicker when in motion.

If you're not quite following what I'm saying, some of it is visually represented by the wobbling present in the (NES console) Little Goomba up top. When playing Super Mario Brothers on a standard resolution tube-based TV, the exact same wobbly effect is present. It's just not as noticeable unless you're looking for it, or view the screen up close. Although some flickering is present in all tube-TV images (because of the screen refresh rate), it tends to stand out more the way that the NES displays the graphics. For each single frame (during play, or while paused), the NES draws two slightly different images to complete each pixel on the graphic display. So depending on pixel color, location of where it is on the screen, and which screen draw (pass 1 or pass 2), the same display pixel (or more accurately, physical screen location) may take turns displaying as one of two different colors. More complex images/graphics will result in more noticeable flicker or wobble.

If you're still not following me, just hook up an NES console to an old tube-TV and look closely. If you don't have one and you really, really want to know more about this strange phenomenon present in the way NES hardware displays images on a TV, shoot me an e-mail asking for an illustrated demonstration of it. If I get enough e-mail requests, I'll do a more in-depth post about it, complete with animations that clearly illustrate the quirks of NES graphics.

In contrast to the NES, this jittery, non-stable pixel generation method is not present in the Super Nintendo. The SNES displayed images without noticeable color flicker. It also has more powerful graphics hardware.

So there you have it: a Little Goomba as it looked back in 1985, and still does today when displayed via an NES console hooked up to an old tube-TV. It's like a beautiful miniature electronic stained glass work of art. I love the look that those little red, green, and blue screen components create. Unfortunately this kind of thing is slowly fading away as newer technology takes center stage and many people quickly push aside the older, "obsolete" technologies.

My NES is far from obsolete though. Like most classic or retro-gamers, I have an NES emulator that I use for a quick NES fix here or there. But there's no substituting playing on the real hardware. Seriously - it's a whole different experience, and in my opinion, far more rich. The graphics of an NES displayed on a tube-TV ain't perfect, but somehow they come to life in a way that no emulator has captured yet.

UPDATE Dec. 10, 2009:
Special thanks to Jeff Tyrrill for pointing out inaccuracies in how I explained the NES and SNES PPU screen draw method (see comment below). In the original article write-up, I incorrectly referred to TV "interlacing" to explain the jitter or wobble effect produced by the NES PPU. The NES image display methodology is similar to TV interlacing in the sense that it draws two slightly different images each 30th of a second (one each 60th), but these two slightly different images are not displayed on interlacing scanlines, but rather the same constant set of scanlines each screen refresh.

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MySpace - A Place for Spyware

2008-08-23T04:01:20Z

"MySpace - a place for friends". That's how it officially reads on their logo. I think it should read "MySpace - a place for spyware". Perhaps just call it MySpyware or SpySpace. ]]> Like many people, I have a MySpace account. You can visit it here if you like. Unlike the majority of MySpace users, I don't log in to my account very frequently. In the last month, I've logged in a total of 3 times. Of those 3 times, my computer was infected with spyware twice. Those odds aren't very good if you ask me.

Strangely, it only happened when I was loged in to my MySpace account and not while just browsing (without being logged in). Why is that? I've read how some people (not associated with MySpace) have been able to use the social networking website to spread malware and redirect traffic by taking advantage of security holes in the site and/or 3rd party plugins used on it. Are my two recent infections the work of outside crackers though?

The first time, it happened as soon as I logged in to my account. I got a pop-up message warning about spyware. I thought that the pop-up itself was a trick to get me to click on it so that the spyware could install itself - a common trick used these days. To play it safe, I closed my web browser through Windows Task Manager so that I wouldn't have to click on anything and risk infection. I immediately ran a virus and spyware scan. Sure enough, a trojan called Zuten was detected and removed.

Maybe my internet protection software just isn't up to par. It's stopped viruses in real time before (without the need to perform a scan and then clean), yet this spyware made it through easily, requiring a scan to remove it.

The second time, just a couple of hours ago, I was logged in to my account for a short duration. I accepted a new friend request (from someone I already know), commented on a couple of profiles and a photo, then got a similar spyware pop-up warning. I took the same action as before and ran another scan. This time a generic dropper was identified and removed. WTF?

According to my internet security software, my PC is clean now, but I'm kind of pissed off that these things made it through so easily in the first place. The weird thing is that the pop-ups didn't seem to be from my internet security software. They recommended some other service for removal, which is why I didn't click on them. I'm not sure if that's a MySpace thing or perhaps even a feature of FireFox? No - I haven't done my homework on that one yet. Instead, I was busy making that nifty MySpace Spyware animated GIF up top. I wish I had done a screen cap of the pop-up I got both times, but I wasn't thinking about archiving it at the time - I was more concerned with minimizing potential damage.

So what's the deal? Is MySpace itself actually deploying some kind of spyware? Perhaps a little "gift" from the social networking site to "improve our experience"? I've never fully read their terms of service, so I don't know what's considered fair play. Even so, I doubt MySpace would ever participate in such a practice by design as they'd quickly loose everyone's trust... or one would think.

If the spyware didn't come from the MySpace machine itself, then how the hell were they deployed? Both times I got the pop-up, I was navigating to either my home page (the page seen just after logging in, not the profile), or on my messaging area. How would an outside cracker infiltrate those areas? Regardless of how, it seems they did.

Even though I have enjoyed meeting and communicating with some very cool people via MySpace, I'm considering deleting my profile, or just removing everything from it and never logging in again. The site seems like a great big digital disease spreading cesspool masquerading as "a place for friends". I don't use MySpace often and usually only log in after I get enough e-mails indicating I have new messages, friend requests, or birthday reminders waiting for me to attend to. Why put my myself at risk when I barely use the service?

I can't help but wonder how many people are loaded up with spyware and other malware they picked up while on MySpace and don't even know it. Many internet users don't bother to keep their internet security software up to date.

What do you think? Are you a MySpace addict who doesn't mind a few run-ins with the spyware that seems to be running rampant there? Have you ditched MySpace for Facebook? Is Facebook any safer? Would you like to be my MySpace BFF and shoot me a friend request so I can log in and risk another spyware invasion? LOL Why are social networking sites such a popular thing these days, anyway? I'm a little clueless on that one and not afraid to admit it. Enlighten me, my children.

Lonely Empty Beer Bottle

2008-08-17T23:49:34Z

There sat the lonely empty beer bottle. His beer had been consumed. What more was there for this little empty beer bottle to do? He was but a hollow version of his former self. No more fresh, delicious beer inside. ]]> Would he be recycled? If so, he might be filled with more fresh, delicious beer. He remembers the old days - spending time with 11 other bottles of fresh, delicious beer in a cardboard box. They used to love singing 99 Bottles of Beer together. That song is a favorite among the beer bottle community from what I gather.

What if instead our translucent little friend was destined to be melted down and remoulded in to an ashtray or decorative window trinket? Then there would be no fresh, delicious beer to look forward to. A new life without beer just wouldn't be the same.

Such is the life of the lonely empty beer bottle. One day full of fresh, delicious beer. The next, melted down and remolded into something new, perhaps a glass eye, seeing the world in a whole different light.

If there were a moral to this story, I think it would be to simply enjoy some fresh, delicious beer before it's all gone.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars... In Toon Town

2008-08-14T19:48:53Z

Star Wars: The Clone Wars hits theaters this weekend. This fully animated new feature film is set in the heart of the Clone Wars and... audiences will be treated to... there's a... ** yaaaawn ** .

I'm sorry, am I the only Star Wars fan who just doesn't have any interest in this new Star Wars film? Seriously, are there many Star Wars fans out there, over the age of 10, that are actually excited about seeing this? I can understand a child's excitement about it, but I can't see many adults being interested. ]]> When I caught wind of this new film, I just kind of scratched my head. What is it about Star Wars that Mr. Lucas and company no longer seem to understand? Just because you call something "Star Wars" and put some familiar characters and light sabers in it, does not mean it will have any of the appeal that the original film did. Especially not in a cartoon version. Needless to say, I don't plan on seeing this film in the theater or later on video release. Zero interest.

I grew up on Star Wars in the 70's and 80's. It was my favorite film series - from the original Star Wars to Return of the Jedi. I ate it right up and had all the toys - and even curtains and bedsheets.

The prequels didn't do much for me, aside from dampen my overall love of Star Wars. Don't get me wrong, there were some very cool sequences in each of the prequels, but on the whole, they were very disappointing.

Now Star Wars has gone to Toon Town and been made to look all cutsie. I mean, Yoda is so adorable looking... All we need now is to see Elmyra Duff from Tiny Toon Adventures pop in on cartoon-Yoda and say something like: "I'm gonna hug you and kiss you and love you forever and squeeze your cute widdle green ears in to into itty bittys!"

The original, original Star Wars trilogy still sits high among my favorite films of all time. I just don't like where it's headed/going/been taken since. For me, Star Wars ended in 1983. I wish it had remained ended then. New Star Wars films can't "ruin my childhood" as some Star Wars fans have suggested it did for them, but it's too bad they went down this road with a once amazingly awesome franchise. Dare I say this cow's utters are finally going dry?

Related content:

Star Wars - The Musical

Google Search Index Hiccup

2008-08-14T00:03:52Z

Ever had your new [website] content show up great in Google's search results only to disappear a couple of days later? You may have tried resubmitting your sitemap repeatedly and making changes in how you publish your content, fearing the possibility your site isn't up to spec with Google's Webmaster Guidelines. A couple days later, you find your content has magically reappeared in Google's search results. ]]> What causes this? In a nutshell, I don't really know. It's simply the pattern I've noticed in the short time I've been monitoring my new content ranking in Google searches. Initially I thought Google had blacklisted my newly published content for some reason, but that doesn't seem to be the case.

My research on this phenomenon hasn't turned up anything definitive as of yet. I read one person's speculation that this may be Google's way of trying to get webmasters to buy adwords in order to maintain a consistent place in the search results. Although there is a logic to that, I'm not sure I buy in to it. I can come up with several other logical theories as to why this happens but there's really no way to tell right now.

When my new content shows up in Yahoo, it seems to stick. In Google, it shows up well, then it disappears, then it's back again. When it returns to Google after being completely removed from their index for a couple of days, it seems to stick. It may take another day or two after that before it settles in to its (relatively) final search rank in the results.

I call this strange vanishing, reappearing act the Google Search Index Hiccup, or just Google Hiccup for short. This term has been in use by other webmasters for a while already - generally to describe how their search results move around in rank, rather than completely disappearing for a couple of days. If you're reading this, it has probably happened to your content too and you're seeking answers as to why.

I'm not going to spend much time talking about it anymore. This will (hopefully) be my last post about how my content temporarily disappears from Google's index. It's a bummer that it gets removed from Google's index just a couple days after publication, but oh well. After the G-machine is done doing whatever it does during its "hiccup", my content will return to the search results. The Google Hiccup will result in a greater degree of lost traffic when publishing content relevant to recent events or news, but at least I should get two good days of traffic from Google before disappearing for a bit. Guess that's just life on the net.

Sneezing "Achoo"

2008-08-11T08:50:10Z

Ahh sneezing. There are only a few things in life more gratifying than a good, old fashioned sneeze.

This may just be an American (or English-speaking) thing, but why do people say "achoo" when they sneeze? Sometimes I do it, kind of as a gag, but otherwise I don't actually say "achoo" when I sneeze. I know "achoo" is described as the sound of a human sneeze, but why does one feel the need to actually say it during a sneeze-in-progress? ]]> A guy at my office sneezes frequently. He's an "achoo-er" who usually sneezes, or achoo's, repeatedly each time, rather than a single sneeze. In terms of the art of saying "achoo" while actually sneezing, he's really very good. His sneeze-induced pronunciation of the word "achoo" is very precise. I can't help but wonder if he is consciously aware of the fact that he says "achoo" so articulately while sneezing. Perhaps he thinks his sneeze sounds completely natural.

Ever heard a baby sneeze? They don't say "achoo" when they sneeze. Their sneeze is more of a quiet inhalation of air followed by a furious expelling of it. I don't hear an "achoo" when a baby sneezes, do you? If you just answered yes, think again - is it really an "achoo" sound? I'd say it is more of an unspellable noise caused by the intense force of air exiting the mouth and nose simultaneously, often causing the lips to smack together while expelling a spray of saliva and snot. No, I'm sorry - babies do not say or make a noise that is even close to "achoo" when they sneeze.

At some point in life, people learn to say "achoo" when they sneeze. So why not say "cough" when we cough or "burp" when we burp? Now that would just be silly, wouldn't it? It's not considered silly to say "achoo" while sneezing though... except maybe to me.

People don't even do it consistently. There seems to be debate as to proper "achoo" protocol in terms of the "ah" portion of "achoo". There are those who believe that the "ah" sound should be observed during the inhalation of air, just before expelling it and making the "choo" sound. Cartoon characters tend to sneeze in this manner. They "ah" a few times, inhaling air each time, before "chooing" (exhaling) all over something, providing a comedic moment.

The "achoo" sound made (spoken) completely during the exhale portion of the sneeze seems to be the popular way to sneeze these days. It is the sneeze-model that most people follow.

There are many variations on how people make their "achoo" noises while letting out their gratifying sneeze. My father tends to bypass the "ah" portion completely, substituting it with a noise similar to a short, quick nose-blowing. At the "choo" part of the sneeze is a well defined "choooooooo" that sounds a little like someone letting out a relief sound of "wheeeeeew" after some catastrophe has been averted. His sneeze bothers me a little because there seems to be a lot of pressure build-up during the process - as if his body is trying to expel the air much faster than his nose and mouth will allow. It seems painful. His face usually turns read as a result.

Some people work very hard to say "achoo" during a sneeze. When confronted about that, they usually just say that's how they sneeze and don't have any control over it. I beg to differ though. "Achoo" is a learned word or sound, not an automatic, uncontrollable vocalization that just happens involuntarily in the moment. Some people seem to really force the word "achoo" when they sneeze. It's annoying and stupid - kind of like the local used car advertisements on TV. I don't mind the occasional forced "achoo" while sneezing for comedic purposes though. I'm sure we enjoy doing that sometimes.

Another guy at my office does not say "achoo" at all. Instead he replaces it with a "yip-CHAHH" sound that can be heard throughout the entire office. I think I like the "yip-chaah" approach to sneezing. Although it is not necessary to make any vocalizations during a sneeze, the "yip-chaah" sneeze has a creative, unique quality to it.

I keep meaning to try the "yip-chaah" myself, but always forget until after sneezing. It's hard to remember because one doesn't usually have much warning when a sneeze approaches. After I get the feeling of a sneeze coming on, I only have a moment or two before execution. That's not a lot of time to plan.

Sometimes when I feel a sneeze coming on, it goes away before I actually sneeze. Ever loose a sneeze before? I really hate when that happens. Once the sneeze-feeling has gone away, it's damn near impossible to get it back.

My wife likes to say "bless you" before I can sneeze sometimes - to make it go away. I can't explain why it chases away my sneeze, but it usually does. That's ok though, I just wait until she's in the middle of a great, big yawn and then press my finger to her tongue while her mouth is wide open. That always makes her laugh, thus forcing her to exit the yawn prematurely. I usually get smacked for doing that, but it's worth it. Besides - she hits like a girl.

This brings me to another interesting point. Not the fact that my wife hits like a girl, but yawning. Ever notice how yawning is contagious? When you see someone in the middle of a great, big yawn, you can't help but feel the need to yawn yourself. If someone else sees you yawning, they get the urge to yawn as well. Before you know it, the yawn passes through everyone in the entire room - like people doing the wave at sporting events, only a lot slower. There are probably a few people who felt the urge to yawn just reading this paragraph. If they were in mid-yawn while reading that last sentence, they might have started to laugh, effectively interrupting their yawn.

The point I wanted to bring up is wouldn't it be weird if sneezing worked more like yawning? What if just hearing someone sneeze caused the urge for others to sneeze? Can you imagine the amount of saliva spray that would be created in a room full of people once a contagious sneezing session commenced? I wonder what it would sound like? I'm sure there would be several variations of the word "achoo" being heard, but what about "yip-chaah"? Is the guy at work the only yip-chaaher? He's the only one I've heard yip-chaah before. I guess it's a good thing that sneezing isn't contagious like yawning.

About the animated GIF above:

I wanted a sneeze related image to accompany my not-so-deep thoughts about the subject. The image of neon sneeze animation bearing my own likeness popped in my head. It seemed pretty original and random. Initially intended to be set in a classic arcade setting, I went for the Vegas-style bar decoration instead.